I haven't forgotten about Truth or Dare in England. But I never intended to do this chronologically -- more like, whichever memory is the strongest in any given moment. And this is a far more recent memory -- I want to write about the last Christmas that I truly enjoyed from start to finish. (The one after that was almost as good for much more surprising reasons. After that I've dreaded that time of year, and I don't anticipate that changing. But this blog is about good memories.)
Early in the formation of the Amazons, we established the tradition that we would go to a district bordering Genkakette's house every Christmas and look at the lights. It was more than just average citizens putting up lights -- for homeowners in the district, it was a condition that they decorate for Christmas every year, and contests were held and horse carriages went through the district. I'd wanted to say that we established the tradition when we were a bigger group, but actually the first time we followed our tradition was the same as the last time we followed our tradition as a whole group: Genkakette, Apple, Wakaba, and me.
Wakaba and I had only recently reestablished our friendship. I was feeling pretty good about her by that point, but Genkakette hadn't seen her yet so there was that nervousness. In the moment I could ignore it. Wakaba pointed out that Elsie goes absolutely nuts over presents. Well ... I do, but this was one of the times when I was much more excited about the gifts I had to give because I'd put so much time into them. I had ordered a book about horses for Wakaba. Wakaba was horse-mad the first time I met her, and that hadn't changed. Apple had recently become a vegetarian, so I'd ordered a book for her about healthy vegetarian eating. I don't know; looking back it seems like that was more a gift for her mom than for her, but I thought she'd appreciate that I was taking her choices seriously. Genkakette's was the most special. Well, it was kind of for Apple too. When Genkakette had moved into her own apartment with her family the previous summer, I'd said that I would make an afghan for her and asked what colors she wanted. She'd said that she wanted me to pick the same color scheme as our favorite Christmas tree in the Christmas lights district. So I'd been working on the blanket for months, and it was finished, and it was huge. Looking back, I'm not sure I got the color scheme entirely right, but it wasn't bad.
Wakaba and I could agree on the Indigo Girls, so that's what I had playing in the car -- a couple of new-to-me-actually-really-old cds that I'd purchased in a garage sale from some friends. We had the music so low that I didn't pick out what a fantastic song "Ghost" is. I drove, and Wakaba acted comfortable with that -- whether or not she actually was, I'm not quite sure, but generally Wakaba wears her heart on her sleeve so I took that at face value. We talked about random things -- mostly related to horse racing. Toward the end of the drive, as one comfortable silence came up, Wakaba asked if I was okay with that. I'd just recently found out that I have Asperger's, so I said that I was an aspie and quite comfortable with silence and music. I wasn't lying. It all felt exactly as if it was meant to be.
We pulled up, and of course I started bouncing about presents. I think I was exaggerating my own reactions just a little because I was nervous about my friends seeing each other after so long. But all went just fine -- we picked up as if there hadn't been the year absence. My friends loved their presents. Wakaba had made keychains for Genkakette and Apple -- she said she'd give me mine closer to Christmas itself since we lived so much closer to each other than to the others, but I never did get one, lol -- she did give me a book of Christmas stories which I kept. We'd been up late the previous night finishing the keychains. Genkakette gave me a Nintendo t-shirt. I still have that too; at the moment there's a stain in the hem that I'm endeavoring to fix, but I'll wear it again once it is fixed.
The Christmas lights were the most beautiful that I can remember seeing them. We walked that year. As an added tradition, we stopped by the nearby Circle K for hot chocolate before walking through the district with the lights. It could get quite cold in the evenings. Besides the four of us, we had along Genkakette's foster son. Apple treated him just like a little brother. Wakaba and I took turns getting the hot chocolate while Genkakette supervised the kids. All of this was exciting in and of itself -- the crowds, the contrast between the icy cold and the hot drink in my hands and the way that the gas station always seemed to run out of hot chocolate just as we got there, the Christmas carols, the nearby horses. It was the first year that we planned to actually ride through on the horse carriages.
Wakaba, of course, went right up to the driver to see the horses up close. We got ourselves situated, and then pulled into the district. They encouraged us all to sing Christmas carols, but it was mainly me and Apple leading, and since we don't know a lot of the same songs, we kept searching. I only know some of "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire," but we sang it anyway. Some of the others on the carriage joined in. I believe Genkakette was more interested in keeping her foster son from getting his hands between the rails holding us all in the carriage. We only made one tour through the district, so if one of us happened to be on the wrong side from a display that she really wanted to see, tough... I don't remember missing anything that I'd badly wanted to see, though. Our favorite color scheme was there, the blue/purple dark lights through high branches that you could get lost in just by looking up.
No one was particularly tired after we'd finished the tour, so we elected to go through the district again on foot. This turned into the best part of the evening. We all acted like kids, not just the kids -- we took pictures of each other in front of Disney displays and dragged each other back and forth through particularly interesting stories and stopped at the Christmas karaoke station to sing a couple of hymns badly. I guess Wakaba was more reserved than I remember her (at least, she's the only one not truly smiling in the picture ... but I always chalked that up to her not enjoying having her picture taken). There was one point where we came to a tree that had enormous paper chains dangling from it like tinsel, except the tree was enormous and the "tinsel" draped outwards for a space the size of several yards. We could write wishes on links and staple them to the chain. Everything that I wanted for myself, I already had in that moment. So I wrote out a prayer for Rina and a mutual friend of ours not-in-Xena fandom and stapled them to the end of the chain. Then I helped Apple gain enough height to staple on hers. I do remember that we all wrote vastly different kinds of wishes, but I don't remember what those were.
Apple and I were cold as we walked back, so we took turns chasing each other while Genkakette and Wakaba watched indulgently. I know it's childish, but I've always been rather proud of my ability to outrun the kids. That might be different now that Apple's legs are longer.
After the lights were out and the time of the evening came for us to talk in the dark, Genkakette and Wakaba had a long conversation about religion. Genkakette would ask me later if that had bothered me. Actually -- I've discovered this about myself. When it seems to me that the people around me are bonded and I'm left out, that's when I start getting accusations of childish jealousy. But it bothers me just as much to be bonded to people who aren't bonded to each other. Genkakette's and my friendship had the year of solidity beneath it that Wakaba had not been part of, and Wakaba and I had already built all the reconnection we'd ever need. So any platform for them to reconnect with each other was okay in my book -- and they were making a deliberate effort to be considerate, which I appreciated. When I finally fell asleep, I was completely happy.
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